On February 14, 2021, I was asked to be the Guest of Honor and Speaker for La Hermosa Assembly № 28’s Installation Ceremonies, with their central theme on women empowerment. It was an exciting opportunity for me to talk to young girls and the members of the Advisory Board about a cause that directly impacts everyone, and I hoped the short 10-minute speech was enough to open a dialogue where our organization, the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls, can explore more concrete, specific, and nuanced ways of empowering its members and the community from which they belong.
Good afternoon everyone, and most especially to my sisters. I do not wish to limit the term “sister” to my active Rainbow girls. Whenever I bring “sister” into the conversation, please note that I am also referring to our Rainbow moms, friends, parents, and everyone else who identifies as a woman. The theme for the installation today is a cause that holds a special place in my heart. I am a woman. We are women.
For the longest time, we have been tied at the bottom half of the pyramid for being born a woman, and Women Empowerment is a cause that tries not to reverse the pyramid but instead, grant equal footing for everyone, regardless of their gender, that will ultimately allow them to lead a dignified life: A life that is respected, listened to, secure, and celebrated.
To advocate for a movement is to acknowledge its milestones. Empowering women has changed the dynamics of modern society, and it is in huge thanks to the generations before ours who fought, sacrificed, questioned, and spoke up against their own plight. From warranting a crime committed to a woman based on her attire, we now ask for accountability and demand the perpetrator be brought to justice. We came from a time of trapping a woman to carry responsibilities based on her gender: forcing her to be a mother and placing her value solely by her preparedness to become the sole homemaker. These days, we encourage her to explore and allow her dreams to flourish; we also demand partners to contribute to maintaining a home. Eligibility to vote and to formally enroll at universities seemed like a struggle of the past because today we have faces of women as leaders and educators. We graduated from a place where a woman has been, time and time again, described as damsels in distress, one-dimensional characters, a caricature, an avatar that could only be one of two things: the mean vixen or the goody-two-shoes. Today, we ask for nuances, we question tropes on film, in literature, and on the small screen. We bash stereotypes. We take control of the narrative. We demand representation.
The conversation has certainly shifted and it is crucial to understand that we are miles ahead of where we were. However, we have to ask: Is everyone part of the conversation? Is this the same conversation that women of minority groups, of women of rural and the urban poor, of women of abusive households, of women of color, of women with disabilities, also have? Do they enjoy the same choices from which we have the privilege to choose?
According to a report by the United Nations last October 2020, for the past two decades and a half, only 50% or fewer women of working age are in the labor market, with unpaid domestic work falling heavily on women. Globally, only 28% of managerial positions are held by women, basically reflecting what it was 25 years ago. On the political side, only 22% represent women. Only 35% of the entire world’s STEM graduates are comprised of women.
Representation aside, safety and security have been problematic, especially with the pandemic and the lockdowns that ensued. A staggering 18% have experienced violence in the hands of their intimate partners only in the past 12 months. On average, 137 women die every day in the comfort of their own homes, and worse, not all countries have laws against domestic violence, only 153 countries do. There are still countries allowing child marriages, workspaces that perpetuate and allow sexual harassment to occur, households that thrive in microaggressions, and government policies that continue to dismiss women’s rights.
We are Rainbow Girls, and we are trained to be ready for life. But think about this: How could we be ready for life when life is designed for us girls to have it harder than our male counterparts? How are we to achieve our full potential when we are also busy doing the extra homework, worrying about the added pressure of being dainty and pure, agonizing about justifying our lifestyle choices, stressing about polar opposite demands, doing more just to get the short end of the stick, and living in a constant state of fear and anxiety just because we were born and we identify as girls?
They say it takes a village to raise a girl, and this is true. The responsibility to raise an empowered generation of women is not a burden carried solely by mothers, but also by the fathers, the uncles, the aunts, the grandmothers, the neighbors, the friends, the schools, the government, and the allies.
What do we have to do? There are a lot of ways we could help and some of these do not even require monetary, time, or even effort-based prerequisites. These only need an open mind:
Listen and amplify
To advocate is not to speak for a movement. Our job as women and allies is to listen as another woman speaks her truth and exposes her vulnerability. Our job is to withhold judgment when they do, to silence the voice that paints our bias: “She’s asking for attention, she’s too strong, she’s being weak, it’s her fault, she’s being too ambitious, or she has no direction”. Instead of talking over women, offer comfort and express your support. As allies, our job is not to save or protect women, but to honor her sense of agency, respect her role as the decision-maker of her own life, and amplify her calls for justice, equality, and rights. These are real problems, and romanticized chivalry can no longer cut it.
Celebrate women’s diversity
Women are not a monolith. Yes, we share the same history, the same burdens, but we ultimately have different contextual factors that color our lifestyle. We are beautiful in our own unique way. We are allowed to make decisions based on our desires and our capabilities with consideration to our limitations. A woman’s choice should not be a weapon to use against other women who chose to do the exact opposite. No choice is less or more versus the other. These choices are valid and should both be respected.
Widen your horizon
Educate yourself. Do not justify ignorance by burdening women to give you a lecture about women's empowerment. There are hundreds of literature dedicated to the cause that you can consume and internalize. Inspire yourself with Malala, Anne Frank, Fe Del Mundo, Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, and more. And do not limit your compassion! Learn about casual sexism, internalized misogyny, micro-aggressions, and toxic masculinity. Extend your horizon to involve not only the CIS straight women but to listen to transwomen, to the LGBTQIA community, to the Indigenous Peoples, to the Accessibility advocates about their own horizons and support their stories.
Involve yourself
As Rainbow Girls you are already involved. You are already interested and working for the betterment of the girls and the people of your community. Working in an organization gives you a bigger platform to demand equal access to education, or equal power in a workplace, or equal representation in legislation. A team systematically working to achieve these goals is a massive feat that could only help to grow the movement in leaps and bounds.
Start with yourself
Empowered women empower women. This movement is a cycle. Check-in with yourself first. To love other people without feeling okay with yourself is like asking yourself of the impossible. Find your own beauty, celebrate your strengths, and recognize your limitations. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we have more energy to dedicate to creating an open, safe, secure, and positive environment for women to be able to express themselves better, thus empowering them and empowering you in return.
We do have the work cut out for us and it could sound burdensome to some especially to those who do not experience or share the same struggles. But to call for women’s empowerment is not only to benefit women but everyone. When we offer a safe environment for everyone, give them the opportunity to speak, and allow them to represent themselves, we gain the breadth and depth of our issues. When we encourage everyone to participate and contribute, we make it easier and more sustainable for us to achieve our goals as a society.
Also, remember the incredible privilege to talk about this advocacy. This a privilege not everyone can share. In some places, opening a conversation of such nature could put their lives at risk. It is up to us who have the means, the freedom however small and limited, to make sure that everyone is included in the conversation, that no one is left behind. And it is up to us to remind ourselves whenever we question the purpose: If I know that this situation is something I would not have for myself, why would I allow others to suffer this way?
Today is Valentine’s Day. It is a day when we celebrate love at a time when we expand the festivities beyond romantic relationships, a time when we recognize love in all its forms, and I hope that with this talk, you are inspired to check the love that you express. I hope that the love you give to your loved ones, to your family, to the members of minority groups, and the love you offer yourself is a love respectful of boundaries, dignified with its intentions, mindful and accountable of its actions, and understanding and empathic of people from all walks of life.
Happy Valentine’s Day and good afternoon, everyone.
Notes: I edited some paragraphs for brevity and clarity.
Sources:
The World’s Women 2020: Trends and Statistics, United Nations, https://www.un.org/en/desa/world%E2%80%99s-women-2020
